Happy Birthday Bookie!

Dear Bookie,

Happy Birthday! I will admit I am pretty upset with the fact that you aren't here to celebrate turning 24 with me. I still haven't adjusted to using past tense when I talk about you. It just doesn't feel right. This time last year I was enjoying life over yonder in the land called India. I still don't know if you ever got the card that I sent you. Oh well, too late now. So, I had decided to do my top 10 memories of you, but then realized that I would incriminate myself quite a bit, so yeah I will do my top memories that are a safe bet of not landing me in jail. :)

Some of My Top Memories of Bookie

That time you thought your balls fell into the toilet and Mom used a Maxi Pad to stop the bleeding? Oh yes, I went there!

When we decided that you would name your first son Mario and I would name mine Luigi. Mom still isn't amused with that decision :)

When we use to race the power wheels down the street without any batteries.

When you told our cute little nephews to “Man Up” because you were watching LOTR.

When you brought home that write up in 5^th grade stating that you had detention because you farted in the bathroom! Where else are you suppose to relieve gas?!?

I love ya Bookie. I wish you were here, but I am slowly understanding why you had to leave me. Mind you my understanding does NOT negate the fact that I am going to kick your trash when it's my time to go....just sayin'. You are and forever will be my favorite baby brother.

Happy Birthday!

Love Always & Forever,

Bookie Bo

If Only

A month ago this coming Thursday I laid my baby brother to rest.  So, I apologize friends that I have been anti-social and extremely quiet these last few weeks.  I have never been eloquent when it comes to expressing my emotions, and I very rarely allow people into my life.  This book is very much closed.  I thought for this post that I would open my book for the briefest of moments and share with you some of my ever so personal feelings.

My parents raised us not to go to bed angry with each other.  Whenever we leave the house or end a phone call we always tell the other person that we love each other.  Yes, if I left the house and 3 of my 7 family members were home, I would tell each one of them that I was leaving and that I love them.  Unfortunately, a week before Zack's death, him and I got into a horrible disagreement.  I was home for my sister's graduation.  The night before I flew back to Utah we had this massive disagreement over something so trivial.  Due to my pride, I never made things right with my brother.  A week to the day that I arrived back in Utah, I received the dreaded call that my brother had died.

I never got to say, “Zack, I'm sorry and I love you” one last time.  Instead of feeling peace, I feel the weight of the World on my shoulders.  It's my fault.  I should have been a better big sister.  I should have been more understanding and loving.  I am left with a gaping hole in my heart; I've been through some tough life experiences and I have never felt as my pain as I do now.

So my friends, please learn from my mistake.  Tell your family and friends how much you love them on a daily basis.  Don't just go through the motions.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  You only get one life so make it count.  Let those around you how much they mean to you in your life.  Don't be prideful and stubborn like I was.  Don't let trivial things come between you and those you love.  As my Daddy says, “be slow to anger, and quick to forgive.” As my Momma says “tell those you love that you love them because you never know when it will be your last time to tell them.”  If only I had heeded the counsel and example of my parents.  If only.

Happy Mother's Day Momma

Dear Momma,

This morning I woke up thinking about the Mother's Day I flew home to surprise you. I had just completed my first year at Utah State, and I was quite homesick. Luckily, I was able to find a cheap ticket home for Mother's Day weekend. By taking a red eye flight home, I thought I would sleep on the plane. Boy was I wrong! I was too excited to sleep. Have you ever been at the airport and seen people passed out across some seats at the gate? Well, that was me at the Atlanta airport except not only was I completely out I was hugging my laptop for dear life.  Cody came to pick me up because we knew that you were getting your hair done at Kim's.  When I finally made it home, I was exhausted beyond belief. So me and Q-Tip (our dog) curled up on the end of your  bed and took a nap. The next thing I knew you were the bedroom asking “Cody, who is on my bed?” over and over. I turned my very sleepy self over to face her and said “Happy Mother's Day Momma.”  Your reaction was worth those 24 crazy hours prior to me flying home.

You see Mom, we have this incredible bond.  I can't explain it, and words aren't adequate enough to describe this bond of ours.  We love each other immensely and we can drive each other crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am the person I am today because I have such an amazing mother!  I know I tell you I love you everyday, but I am going to tell ya again because I sure do love you so very much.  

I can't wait to give you your Mother's Day present in 10 days!

ik hou van jou,

Robs 

Thank You

This time last year I was a nervous wreck because as I was taking finals and writing massive papers, I was also going through the interview process for an internship in Pune, India. I was checking my email like a stalker watches his object of affection anxiously waiting to hear whether or not they had chosen me. As I prepared to leave my house to take my final exam which just happened to be Media Law, I checked my email not believing what I had read. Sangam World Centre had chosen me to be their first Marketing Communications Intern. I was astonished. I called my parents and texted a good friend to relay the news. Walking to my Media Law final I called my boss and turned in my notice. I am going to be honest and tell you that I was scared out of my mind to pack things up and go to India. Luckily, I have friends like Angie and Kort who gave me the courage I needed to move forward with my journey. I had friends like Sofi who helped me get my plane ticket and all my stuff down to Salt Lake and Gillian who let me keep my stuff at her place until I returned.

I really just want to give a heart felt sincere thank you to my family and friends who have supported me during the whole India process and who have also stood by my side during all of the hardships that I have encountered since returning. You ARE my true friends. To my family I love you more than words can describe. Without all of your help (friends and family) I would not have been able to enjoy such a wonderful and exciting opportunity!

Oh for the Love!

During my many months of unemployment, I have kept myself busy by trolling news outlets keeping up to date on current events. I start off with the Washington Post, move onto the NY Times, hit up CNN, and finish off with the Huffington Post. When I want to read something funny, I turn to celebrity nonsense. I say nonsense because lately those whose five minutes of fame is quite over keep running their mouths.

Let's start with Jesse James. He has recently stated, “He has paid the price and then some.” Listen Jesse, I honestly don't give a rats butt that you became famous for marrying Sandra Bullock. So what you two divorced like a couple of years ago. Get over it already. She certainly has. I don't think that just because you are over sexed and can't keep your male member in your pants, that you should still be running your mouth in celebrity news. Stick to creating motorcycles. Oh and for the love of six bits, keep your sex life to yourself.

Speaking of extreme exercise, why in the world do we keep hearing about Bristol Palin. I thought she was leaving celebrity, but I guess she doesn't enjoy not being in the spotlight. Now all of the sudden she is outraged that her baby's daddy has knocked up some poor unfortunate chick. I am not even going to get started on all of the foolishness. What I will say is this: #1 SHUT UP already! No one cares about your baby's daddy issues. #2 Bristol keep your business your business. By airing your business, you are just acting like some white trash.

Talk about airing out your business. Apparently Melissa Etheridge's ex-wife can't live on a mere $23,000 a month. Yes, I said a month. Seriously?!? WTF. The more important question is how can you not live on $23,000 a month? What do you need that puts you over that budget? Note that I said need and not want. In this economy there are plenty of people that wish they had your problem of staying within your monthly allotment. My advice: simplify your life and be strong! You aren't going to find any sympathy from this chick.

What Really Matters

Lately, my time has been consumed by figuring out the “meaning of life.” (I don't think this is one problem I will ever solve.) This year is a big year for me. I say that because I will turn an age that I am not comfortable admitting when my birthday rolls around come October. Life has been challenging, but such is life.

The other day I was wasting my time looking at some photos for a FB friend of mine. There was one picture that was just precious; it is of a friend in a developing country with a local child. A comment left by another friend stated something like this: The local people are SO happy and don't realize that they don't have anything.

After mulling that statement over in my mind, I started to think. (Yes, I know that this can be dangerous.) What makes me happy? I replayed my adventures abroad and stateside. I thought of my childhood and what brought me to where I am today.

What makes me happy is the thought of flying home to see my family even if it's only for a short visit. I tear up every time I think of all the sacrifices my parents have made to see me succeed. Put my niece and nephews on the phone or Skype and I am over the moon. Helping and serving those around me feeds my soul. If I can make someone laugh during the day, then my day has been a success.

I don't need a brand new car every couple of years. Public transportation suits me just fine. I don't need a over-sized house, fancy jewelery, or designer clothes. All I need at the end of the day is the love of my friends, family, and my Heavenly Father. Everything else is secondary.

The local people of that developing country may not have running water, sanitation, or the modern conveniences but at the end of the day, they have their families, community, and their religion. That my friends is what makes them happy. They are happy because they have what really matters. Nothing can compare to the love that you have for your family, your fellow man, or your God.  

The Wonderful Word "No"

Today I was out and about with one of my cousins. We got on the topic of children telling their parents “no.” She continued to tell me about how one child refused to clean up their mess and another refusing to get a display ready for an awards ceremony. I was in shock because when I grew up I didn't tell my parents “no” to anything and neither did she.

Many of you do not know my parents. They are your typical no nonsense I'm not taking crap from anyone-let alone their own children type of parents. If my parents said to do something, we typically did it because we knew the consequences of not doing what we were asked to do. Let me share a time when one of us did not do what our mother had asked.

First let me premise this story by saying morning time at the Statum house was absolutely crazy when I was in high school. My older brother was serving an LDS mission, and me being the second oldest it was my responsibility to get everyone where they needed to be by 8am. A typical school day would start with me leaving the house at 5:30 am to attend early morning seminary at the church. When I left for seminary, I had to be ready for the day. I would leave seminary between 6:50-7am. I would put the petal to metal in our ole Bonneville to make the 15 min drive home in about 10 mins. As soon as I announced I was home, I would see where everyone was at in getting ready for the day. Usually Mom would have my younger siblings ready to go and she would be finishing getting ready. We had morning family prayer in the car before we left the drive way. My mother was a high school teacher so I would drop her off first usually and then race across town and drop off my sister at the elementary school. Then I would go back across town and drop my younger brother at the middle school and then my other brother and I would get to the high school and head to our first block class. Now onto my story....

This particular morning we were running a little late. My mom said “Robyn, get the kids in the car. I am almost ready to walk out the door.” I rounded up my younger siblings and was like let's go. Zack leave your baby sister alone. For the love. At this point, mom in her very scary authoritative voice said Zachary Grant leave your sister alone. By this point it was too late. My sister so was mad at her older brother that she pulled down the curtain. Now I am not talking about just the curtain but the whole blooming thing. At this point, mom was ready to go, and she was none too happy when she walked down the hall. She proceeded to tell my brother that he was going to move into my sister's room when he got home from school. What came out of his mouth next left me speechless. He told my mother the word “NO!” (I don't ever remember telling my mother that word. That was and is a word my parents say to their five children. We don't say it to our parents.) In response all my mother said was “just wait till I speak with your father.” (Now when my mother said this growing up we were screwed. I mean screwed. My parents were/are always on the same page when it comes to raising their children. This was never good for us as their children when we were in trouble.) We proceed to the car and mom offers to say morning family prayer. (Another sign that you are screwed especially when she prays that the spirit of contention will leave as she did this particular morning.) Needless the car drive was quiet. I drove everyone to their destinations, and due to my led foot I was able to get to school a little bit early. Me being the nosy big sister that I am asked my mom if she was able to reach my dad before he left work. (Side note: My dad worked the graveyard shift growing up so he was not around during our morning chaos.) Oh she had reached my father before he left work. By the time my two youngest siblings had gotten home from school, my father had moved Zack into Becca's room.

Moral of the story never ever ever tell my mother the word “NO!”

2011 Reflection

While 2011 was wonderfully amazing, it also had many challenges to overcome. I choose to take a look back at all of the wonderfully amazing bits that I enjoyed this year.

I am happy to say that I am finally a college graduate. My road to completion is not your conventional road, and that is okay. Trust me it was not easy, but the relief and joy I felt after turning in my final paper is beyond words. When I decided to go back to school and finish my bachelor's I had a hard time not comparing myself to those I graduated with in high school. Many were working on their master's even doctorate's so I felt quite inadequate just trying to finish my bachelor's. My parents instilled in the five of us the importance of an education whether it's a two year technical degree, bachelor's, masters etc. Mom always says “you never know when that piece of paper will come in handy.” I am proud to say that I have that little piece of paper now. In a few years I would like to get my master's degree, but all in good time.

I lived in India while completing an awesome internship. No, that was not easy either. (I think I tend to take the hard road because I like a challenge.) I did not blog enough while I was there. I learned so much about myself like when I really have “to go” and there are no bathrooms around for 3 hours, I will pop a squat and take care of business in a fort that was built back in the 1400's or that I have the ability to cross the road in crazy Indian traffic and not get hit. I can not say that about the States and we have far fewer people populating our country. I got to enjoy seeing the sun rise at the Taj Mahal. How many people can say that? I strongly encourage everyone to enjoy it at least once in their life time. My spice tolerance increased from 0 to like 4 ½.....lol. India was beyond everything I have ever dreamt. My goal this year is to save money so I can go back and visit.

Each year I try to make goals (realistic for the most part, I usually wind up putting a few crazy goals just for pure entertainment). This past year I have achieved many goals and failed to do so on others. Lately, I have been told that I need to add “get married” to the list because I am past my expiration date. Living in Utah and being a member of the Church, I get the “you need to get married” or “you need to take lessons from so and so on how to get married” far too often. Some people leave me feeling as if I am not worth anything as a human being just because I am unmarried. When I tell them that I am quite happy with my life, they seriously can not comprehend why I can be content with my unmarried life. If I can't be content with my life now, how am I going to be content with life when I do eventually get married? I am worth something because while I am in no way perfect, I am prettying freckin' awesome! God doesn't look down upon me or anyone else because of their marital status or the lack their of in my case. Needless to say, I am not putting “get married” on my goal list for 2012. If it happens great, and if it doesn't great.

All in all I can't complain. My life is pretty fabulous or at least I think so. I have a wonderful family that loves me despite my faults, fantastic friends that have my back, a rather large Indian family that always warms my heart over yonder, and a degree in hand. Watch out 2012 because ready or not here I come!