What Really Matters

Lately, my time has been consumed by figuring out the “meaning of life.” (I don't think this is one problem I will ever solve.) This year is a big year for me. I say that because I will turn an age that I am not comfortable admitting when my birthday rolls around come October. Life has been challenging, but such is life.

The other day I was wasting my time looking at some photos for a FB friend of mine. There was one picture that was just precious; it is of a friend in a developing country with a local child. A comment left by another friend stated something like this: The local people are SO happy and don't realize that they don't have anything.

After mulling that statement over in my mind, I started to think. (Yes, I know that this can be dangerous.) What makes me happy? I replayed my adventures abroad and stateside. I thought of my childhood and what brought me to where I am today.

What makes me happy is the thought of flying home to see my family even if it's only for a short visit. I tear up every time I think of all the sacrifices my parents have made to see me succeed. Put my niece and nephews on the phone or Skype and I am over the moon. Helping and serving those around me feeds my soul. If I can make someone laugh during the day, then my day has been a success.

I don't need a brand new car every couple of years. Public transportation suits me just fine. I don't need a over-sized house, fancy jewelery, or designer clothes. All I need at the end of the day is the love of my friends, family, and my Heavenly Father. Everything else is secondary.

The local people of that developing country may not have running water, sanitation, or the modern conveniences but at the end of the day, they have their families, community, and their religion. That my friends is what makes them happy. They are happy because they have what really matters. Nothing can compare to the love that you have for your family, your fellow man, or your God.  

The Wonderful Word "No"

Today I was out and about with one of my cousins. We got on the topic of children telling their parents “no.” She continued to tell me about how one child refused to clean up their mess and another refusing to get a display ready for an awards ceremony. I was in shock because when I grew up I didn't tell my parents “no” to anything and neither did she.

Many of you do not know my parents. They are your typical no nonsense I'm not taking crap from anyone-let alone their own children type of parents. If my parents said to do something, we typically did it because we knew the consequences of not doing what we were asked to do. Let me share a time when one of us did not do what our mother had asked.

First let me premise this story by saying morning time at the Statum house was absolutely crazy when I was in high school. My older brother was serving an LDS mission, and me being the second oldest it was my responsibility to get everyone where they needed to be by 8am. A typical school day would start with me leaving the house at 5:30 am to attend early morning seminary at the church. When I left for seminary, I had to be ready for the day. I would leave seminary between 6:50-7am. I would put the petal to metal in our ole Bonneville to make the 15 min drive home in about 10 mins. As soon as I announced I was home, I would see where everyone was at in getting ready for the day. Usually Mom would have my younger siblings ready to go and she would be finishing getting ready. We had morning family prayer in the car before we left the drive way. My mother was a high school teacher so I would drop her off first usually and then race across town and drop off my sister at the elementary school. Then I would go back across town and drop my younger brother at the middle school and then my other brother and I would get to the high school and head to our first block class. Now onto my story....

This particular morning we were running a little late. My mom said “Robyn, get the kids in the car. I am almost ready to walk out the door.” I rounded up my younger siblings and was like let's go. Zack leave your baby sister alone. For the love. At this point, mom in her very scary authoritative voice said Zachary Grant leave your sister alone. By this point it was too late. My sister so was mad at her older brother that she pulled down the curtain. Now I am not talking about just the curtain but the whole blooming thing. At this point, mom was ready to go, and she was none too happy when she walked down the hall. She proceeded to tell my brother that he was going to move into my sister's room when he got home from school. What came out of his mouth next left me speechless. He told my mother the word “NO!” (I don't ever remember telling my mother that word. That was and is a word my parents say to their five children. We don't say it to our parents.) In response all my mother said was “just wait till I speak with your father.” (Now when my mother said this growing up we were screwed. I mean screwed. My parents were/are always on the same page when it comes to raising their children. This was never good for us as their children when we were in trouble.) We proceed to the car and mom offers to say morning family prayer. (Another sign that you are screwed especially when she prays that the spirit of contention will leave as she did this particular morning.) Needless the car drive was quiet. I drove everyone to their destinations, and due to my led foot I was able to get to school a little bit early. Me being the nosy big sister that I am asked my mom if she was able to reach my dad before he left work. (Side note: My dad worked the graveyard shift growing up so he was not around during our morning chaos.) Oh she had reached my father before he left work. By the time my two youngest siblings had gotten home from school, my father had moved Zack into Becca's room.

Moral of the story never ever ever tell my mother the word “NO!”

2011 Reflection

While 2011 was wonderfully amazing, it also had many challenges to overcome. I choose to take a look back at all of the wonderfully amazing bits that I enjoyed this year.

I am happy to say that I am finally a college graduate. My road to completion is not your conventional road, and that is okay. Trust me it was not easy, but the relief and joy I felt after turning in my final paper is beyond words. When I decided to go back to school and finish my bachelor's I had a hard time not comparing myself to those I graduated with in high school. Many were working on their master's even doctorate's so I felt quite inadequate just trying to finish my bachelor's. My parents instilled in the five of us the importance of an education whether it's a two year technical degree, bachelor's, masters etc. Mom always says “you never know when that piece of paper will come in handy.” I am proud to say that I have that little piece of paper now. In a few years I would like to get my master's degree, but all in good time.

I lived in India while completing an awesome internship. No, that was not easy either. (I think I tend to take the hard road because I like a challenge.) I did not blog enough while I was there. I learned so much about myself like when I really have “to go” and there are no bathrooms around for 3 hours, I will pop a squat and take care of business in a fort that was built back in the 1400's or that I have the ability to cross the road in crazy Indian traffic and not get hit. I can not say that about the States and we have far fewer people populating our country. I got to enjoy seeing the sun rise at the Taj Mahal. How many people can say that? I strongly encourage everyone to enjoy it at least once in their life time. My spice tolerance increased from 0 to like 4 ½.....lol. India was beyond everything I have ever dreamt. My goal this year is to save money so I can go back and visit.

Each year I try to make goals (realistic for the most part, I usually wind up putting a few crazy goals just for pure entertainment). This past year I have achieved many goals and failed to do so on others. Lately, I have been told that I need to add “get married” to the list because I am past my expiration date. Living in Utah and being a member of the Church, I get the “you need to get married” or “you need to take lessons from so and so on how to get married” far too often. Some people leave me feeling as if I am not worth anything as a human being just because I am unmarried. When I tell them that I am quite happy with my life, they seriously can not comprehend why I can be content with my unmarried life. If I can't be content with my life now, how am I going to be content with life when I do eventually get married? I am worth something because while I am in no way perfect, I am prettying freckin' awesome! God doesn't look down upon me or anyone else because of their marital status or the lack their of in my case. Needless to say, I am not putting “get married” on my goal list for 2012. If it happens great, and if it doesn't great.

All in all I can't complain. My life is pretty fabulous or at least I think so. I have a wonderful family that loves me despite my faults, fantastic friends that have my back, a rather large Indian family that always warms my heart over yonder, and a degree in hand. Watch out 2012 because ready or not here I come!

Culture Shock

Boy has it been a rough 2 ½ weeks being back in the States.  Not only is my internal (sleeping) clock off kilter, but I am finding some American culture offensive.  For example, I find it absolutely offensive that a practical stranger would go through my cell phone…let alone take photos with my phone.  Now, I am well aware that some would find this funny, but I do not.  I have never in my life had anyone go through my belongings without my permission.  My parents never went through my stuff, and likewise, my parent’s do not go through each other’s purse or wallet.  To have this person go through my phone was an invasion of my privacy.  The only reason why I trusted this person is the sole fact that they are a spouse to one of my professors. 

This same person acted like a child at the restaurant we went to the other night.  Mind you, I have recently returned from India and my prerogative is a bit different to say the least.  While at dinner, this same person was quite rude to the waitress.  Complaining about the pricing is not going to make the waitress give you anything free.  The complaint was over $1.50.  Are you seriously that big of a tightwad?  No one was forcing you to substitute your fries for union rings.  There are bigger problems to worry about than swapping out fries for union rings.  Why make a mountain out of a molehill?  Top make matters worse, another person at our table wanted to point out to the waitress how the presentation of the union rings looked like a male appendage.  REALLY?!?  Did your mother not teach you anything?  I mean come on for the love of everything sacred and holy.  The rudeness and crassness was beyond my level of comfort.  It is one thing to be crass in a private setting, but it is absolutely unacceptable in a public setting.  Combine the crassness with a professor’s wife who is quite difficult would equal this Southern gal mortified.  All I can say is bless their hearts; their momma just didn’t teach them how to behave in public.  Needless to say, I will NEVER go out in public with them again. 

Some people have given me grief for going to India for my internship.  My response to them is grow up.  I will not apologize for being curious about the World and having the desire to explore it from top to bottom.  I have learned so much during my many travels, and I would do it all over again and again.  I have no regrets.  

I guess it is going to take me longer than I thought to adjust back into American society.  Bless my heart!

I miss the days of PB.......

I miss the days of PB....and no I do not mean Penny Byrne. PB was a boss of mine when I worked at the unmentionable place in Logan. I woke up this morning to an email and Facebook message that now have me in a state of panic. As I was trying to think clearly this morning, all I could think about was how much I missed PB. She is a straight shooter, a fiesty redhead, and I have the utmost respect for her. I will be the first to admit that we got off to a rocky start, but after I showed her that I wasn't just some lazy college student we worked marvelously together.

PB isn't afraid to tell you like it is and very rarely will she sugar coat what she has to tell you. Yes, she will nag you to death if you aren't doing what she asked you to do. We came to a point in our working relationship that she knew that whatever she gave me I would finish by her deadline. She also doesn't listen to someone's bull. She was always telling us to take the emotion of out it and just give her the facts. I think I missed that the most. I am an emotional person, no more than the next. Being over here in India has its challenges in the workplace. I live and work at the same place so it is pretty hard to keep emotion out of it and stay with the facts.

The fact is that there are stupid and lazy people across the world. Laziness and stupidity are not biased. They infect every race, creed, and culture. Yes, working with these two can drive someone insane. That's why PB was soo amazing to work with. She had no problem telling you if you were being lazy or stupid.

So as I read a very disappointment email trying to figure out how what I plan B is, I found myself very grateful for the time I had working with PB. I know that she is enjoying retirement to its fullest. I just wish that her work ethic, skills, and tact could be duplicated. Here's to hoping and finding my plan B!

Randomness

Random Thoughts

Let me first say that I am in a bit of a panic mode. I am a planner. I have been my whole life. For better or worse, I like to have a general idea of what I am doing and where I am going. I am a goal oriented person. So to have only my life somewhat planned till December 17^th is a bit daunting. I really just want to crawl into a whole and not worry about it. I have no place to live in Logan once I get back to school. The place I was going to stay at fell through and I shouldn't be surprised, but I was hoping for the best. Obviously the best did not happen. I will give myself my own advice and say “I'll be strong.”

I should not be complaining. Last week I saw a homeless made take a crap on the side walk because he had nowhere else to go. A group of us toured a massive slum in Mumbai. If you are an illegal immigrant you are not allowed to use public restrooms. You have to pay 2 INR to use the toilet. Most people can't even afford that. So, this makes going to the toilet a problem especially if you're a woman. It is culturally accepted for a man to relieve himself in public. It is not however culturally accepted if a woman were to do so. Most women have to wait till either late at night or rather early in the morning to relieve themselves. As much as I love being in India, I can not accept or wrap my head around the amount of inequality that occurs between the sexes, religions, or even castes.(They say they don't have a caste system, but they still do.)

Let me illustrate. The majority of our local staff uses wood burning stoves as a water heater system. There is a campground on Sangam's property, and the local staff can collect wood to take home. An evening a couple of weeks ago, I noticed Saroj dragging a large potato sack size bag full of wood to take home to her family. Saroj is quite petite and the large sack overwhelmed her small frame. Me being me and not worrying about what is socially acceptable, I quickly ran outside to carry the sack. At first, Saroj said that I could carry the sack to the front gate. I asked her if she was going to wait for the bus or going to her brother's house. When we reached the gate, I told her that I would carry the sack to her brother's house. As we walked together down the alley to her brother's house, I was shocked at the stares that I received. See her world views her as my servant, and it's highly unlikely that her employer would carry a large sack of wood for her. In my world, I view her as my friend and equal. I know that she is up at 4:30 am to put the buckets out so that her family will have enough water for bathing, cleaning, cooking, drinking etc. (If she does not do this, there is no water for her or her family.) She then prepares breakfast and gets her three children off to school. After that, she takes a 30 min. bus ride to Sangam to report for work. She does all of this by 8 am. She works till 6pm. If we have an event, she doesn't get done with work till after 8pm. Immediately she goes home and cooks dinner for her family, does the laundry, and clean the house. This is a typical day in the life of one of our female local staff members. So, when I saw her extremely worn out dragging the sack of wood behind her, I could not do anything but help her. Someone in our group yelled at a child, as we toured the slum in Mumbai, that “if you work really hard, you'll be able to make lots and lots of money.” That may be true where she is from, but here that logic is the exception not the rule.

So, I will not worry about not having a place to live in 5 weeks. My life can always be much worse than that.

Postcards & Mice

Happy Independence Day! Today is India's Independence Day. We (the staff and the Phulenagar Ladies Society) started off the day with a proper Indian flag ceremony followed by an Indian breakfast. (We usually eat a Western breakfast.) This morning was quite nice. So, Happy Independence Day to all of my friends in India!!

So, my work is quickly coming to a close. I have 1 ½ months left here in Pune. I have been busy making plans to overhaul the Yahdei (the shop). If you ever complain about how long it takes to get something done in the States, just come to India and you'll soon come to appreciate the timeliness of vendors back home. I am in the process of making a planogram for the shop, as well as bringing in new product. All is easier said than done. I have 13 days to get everything together. Good luck to me.

I have also been working on designing new postcards for the shop. All I have to say is that they are a slow and tedious process. Most of my friends know how it goes when you make a mock up that you will have to make quite a few changes quite a few different times. I am proud of how they are turning out because I did not think myself capable of doing anything creative on that level.

The excitement lately has not been due to the riots on Mumbai/Pune highway, where people are killed daily, or crazy rickshaw drivers, or even the fight that broke out between two men in the slum across the street. (The two men managed to fight each other with a 2x4 piece of wood in the middle of Alandi Road. Now to give you a visual of Alandi Rd, I would compare it to Main St in Logan while USU is in session during rush hour traffic. For my friends at home, I would compare to Crossgates Blvd and HWY 80 at the peak times of the day or even HWY 25 by Dogwood. When I saw the fight break out, all I could think was “you have got to be kidding me......someone is going to get killed by a car.”) The most exciting thing has been the two mice that have somehow found a way to dwell upstairs with us. For those who do not already know, I absolutely HATE rodents. It all started two nights ago while I was in the lounge. I was by myself and too chicken to get out of the chair where I carefully sat. Luckily for my Priya came in and immediately started laughing at me. I told her to call the night watchman to get the darn thing. He came upstairs to my rescue or so I thought. We couldn't lure the mouse out from under the refrigerator. As soon as we stepped into the hallway, the darn thing ran under the door of someone's room. We asked that person if we could lure the mouse out, and they asked us not to because I really believe that they believed that it wasn't in there, but we saw it go in so whatever. We didn't see the mouse again until last night, except last night we saw a MUCH bigger mouse. Needless to say I screamed my head off and had the night watchman called up again. This time we put a mouse trap (a tree hugger one with carrots and onions in it) by the fridge. We again saw the mouse go under the same door as the night before, but that person wasn't here to give us permission to catch it. So we call them, and they again told us not to catch it in their room. WHAT?!? You have a rodent in your room and you want it to stay there? Trust me I have no desire to go into that person's room, but seriously people. Rodents carry diseases.....do you really need any other reason not to kill the damn thing?!? It's not like the mouse was from PetSmart or something. Needless to say the mice are still on the run somewhere upstairs. How do mice get upstairs anyway? The walls are made of concrete.

I will keep you updated about adventures in miceland! I'm sure there will be more to come!